By Father Nathan Miller
I love hiking! A good pair of boots; warm sunbeams; wild thistle grass waving in a gentle breeze; red and white arrows painted on trees and signs …
When I wrote about the difference between men and women in prayer, I was trying to evoke a bit more than the quaint reactions that went: “Oh, we’re different.” I had hoped to help each individual gauge himself in his or her dealings with their divine maker, when they get on their knees.
And that time I quoted other writers who said Barbie could possibly be one of the causes of women thinking they are not pretty enough, I was actually interested much less in the possible causes as in the effect: that women (and men) give more importance today to external beauty than to the beauty of their souls. (I mean, honestly, I have never heard any engaged person talk about growing in humility as the BEST preparation for their upcoming wedding.)
And then, most recently, when I shared my experience in front of the Pieta—that trials and difficulties have meaning in life, since spiritual progress is in great part about cutting away so that Christ can live in me. Well, my point was not to cause fuzzy feelings or to get readers—as did happen—to shed tears because “it was so beeaauuttiiffuull!”
So I’m starting to think that all-in-all I am a miserable failure.
But I’m not giving up; we’re in this for the long haul!
Sure even St. Teresa of Jesus spent more than 20 years not understanding the spiritual life. And I cannot claim to understand myself even half of what I probably should by now.
I guess I’m once again just trying to share with you what’s been gnawing at my soul: this last week I could list for you case after case of good souls either telling me that:
“I don’t need your help NOW, Father. Everything is going well. I feel God is so close to me.”
Or exactly the opposite:
“Everything is wrong because I feel so alone; I cannot pray, because I feel as if God has left me.”
This one obstacle alone – focus on FEELINGS – is stalling spiritual hikers left and right on their journey to growth in sanctity. It is causing some to give up, others to sit down and enjoy the view, and most to go back because the road got too steep.
The POINT of life is not to enjoy the trek, but to reach the top. In the real life—the spiritual journey—not everything is warm sunshine and fields of wild waving golden thistles. On the way UP it sometimes rains and hails and sometimes shines; the track is smooth and then rocky, even and then steep; the view is now pleasant, now foggy.
I feel obliged to repeat this: the point of life is not to remain as long as possible on the even parts of the journey, but to push forward, come what may. If you want to know if you are doing spiritually WELL, stop asking your feelings and start looking at your virtuous Actions / Thoughts / Words.
“By their fruits you shall know them.”
